Snippets of my Story

Hi. I’m Chantel. A lot of you may know me as that awkward girl on instagram who went through a phase of only posting pictures of food- which I’m okay with because like the moon, I go through phases. I’m not a “constant” and I don’t intend to be. My passions change like seasons, but a few of them will always remain: fashion, writing, art, and health. In my eighteen years of living, I’ve gone through an extensive journey of self-discovery, and obviously I’m still very much involved with that process, hence this blog.

Since this blog is about the things that I love (I refuse to limit myself to just articles of clothing) I’m going to share bits of my personal story with you that nearly nobody knows. I don’t want this website to be my “highlight reel,” I want it to be real. I would genuinely like to share and maybe even inspire more than I want to be a walking advertisement. If more people were willing to tell their story, maybe our generation wouldn’t have to google so much of their life. (yes that’s a thing it happens ok)

I can’t think of a time I have been truly happy with my body. Which is normal, I guess, because I’m a girl- but it shouldn’t be. Since my sixth grade year, I have done everything from extreme extended juice cleanses to vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free diets, to literally anything you can think of. I’ve always been naturally underweight, but with an array of autoimmune problems and sickness, my activity level, medications, and weight fluctuated along with my self-esteem. My eating habits became erratic, and I went through starve-binge cycles for years. I made it a point to keep everything I was feeling inside my own mind. Yes, I’ve done things to my body that I’m not proud of for the sake of acceptance. It’s hard to believe that I actually let myself get so worked up over a number on the scale?!

I eventually decided that labels are crap. I didn’t want to be “vegan” or “vegetarian” anymore, I simply wanted to be healthy. So I did what I do best- I researched. I read books on health and different lifestyles. I befriended the people living those different lifestyles. I asked questions. I taught myself about processed foods, food labels, animal products, carbs, gluten, everything I had questions about, and I’m still learning. Through this journey, I fell in love with simplicity. Raw fruits and vegetables. Coming up with crazy combinations- making art out of fruit. Making insanely healthy food taste absolutely sinful. I rerouted my sugar tainted SAD taste buds (Standard American Diet) and started feeding my body instead of my ego. Instead of being neurotic and crazy about my body, treating it like a temple, I started treating my body like my home. It’s where I reside, not where I worship.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t JUST eat raw foods, but I’ve reverted to this sort of “nourish don’t punish” philosophy. I woke up one day and decided to be genuinely conscious. Granted, I still have bad, self-hate filled day, but don’t we all? It’s all about observing and moving forward. In the same way my great aunt used to tell me if I crossed my eyes too long, my face would freeze that way, if you linger on a feeling too long, it’s going to stick.

Positive in, positive out.

This is an extremely summarized post and I still feel uneasy posting it. I’ll go into more detail about my health issues as well as my physical and spiritual journey in the next few posts of this series. Just remember, we all have our flaws. We do what it takes to hide them and that doesn’t make us fake, it makes us human. <3

Smoothie recipe below!