I was going to write a cliché “19 things I learned by 19” or something post on the blog today, but the thing is, I don’t really measure time in years anymore. I don’t think I ever did. Let’s be honest here, I have a Party Time helium tank in my room because I love balloons so much and I can make cupcakes anytime I please. I want to celebrate every day of my existence! Being alive is neat. All of my 19 revolutions around the sun all somehow mesh together and become moments in my mind. That’s how I sort through time: with moments and miles. My birthday is also at a really awkward time of year when all my friends are spending time with their families (and like 90% of my friends don’t live in my town) so guess what that means! 9am bubble baths and candles just because I can! Breakfast is consisting of pizza and wings; lunch is red velvet cake; then we’ll be off to FINALLY see Mockingjay Pt 1, then dinner will be all the chips and salsa at my fav Mexican place, and finally, the best part of my day: movies, and ice cream by the pint with my mom. Best of all, I can walk around in my favorite combination of pink fur and sequins with balloons trailing me and nobody can question it! Except I actually wore this outfit yesterday when I actually shot it…. I haven’t even put pants on today. I LOVE BIRTHDAYS. So even though today is completely irrelevant to you and the rest of the world, I’m going thoroughly enjoy all of this food, and all of the amazing people (and cats) surrounding me. Including you all!

Also, quick blogging update: Sisterhood Redefined has chosen me as one of their new writers! Wooooo. I will be posting to their lovely blog which mainly focuses on Greek life and college life– fashion, sisterhood, recipes, DIY… okay so basically everything. My first post will be up on January fifth! I’m truly excited to test the depths of my writing a bit more and expand my horizons. (and writing portfolio haha!)

ANNNNDDD also, Her Campus has chosen me to be a part of their wonderful blogger network! I’m absolutely ecstatic to be a part of something that will help me grow as a blogger and connect with other girls like me. I’ll keep you posted!

I love you all! Wear sparkles, blow up some balloons, and eat cake just because you can for me today! LIFE.

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dress: Nasty Gal

jacket: Nasty Gal- sold out:( similar here

shoes: Forever 21- also sold out:( similar here

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So go ahead and lie to yourself, and pretend that you’re a ray of light when you’re a broken candle.
You’re keeping time with yourself. When did it all start moving way too fast for you to handle?
Short on breath, heavy on time you lost the words but you found the rhyme; it’s all just poetry now.

So catch it, it’s so contagious,

this daydreamers disease.

Hope can be your sword,

slaying darkness with belief.
And we don’t really care who you are,

regardless of how lost you are returning from,

regardless of how far.
So bring me all the worst of your broken, bruised, insane,

because that’s the thing with music,

when it hits you feel no pain.
No matter what you did, I promise we forgave it–

all that’s left is your voice, you got no choice but to raise it.
All you broken hearts, all you dejected dreams

just let yourself be free because even broken wings can fly away.

I’m going to be honest, this semester has been the hardest of my life. Like everyone else here, I’ve dealt with failures, challenges, plateaus, and pain.  My internal battles have seemed never-ending, even hopeless, and, at times, I’ve felt alone in them. There were days, weeks even, when I both physically and mentally felt like there was no way in hell I could leave my bed. My roommates probably think I’m the weirdest person ever, honestly. I’ve been a bit numb almost, like I had just been drifting in and out of consciousness. I may have lost a bit of myself, but I found even more. This semester has also been the absolute best of my life; sure, I’ve cried a bit, but I’ve laughed a lot. I’ve found a place. I’ve made friends who I’m sure will be in my life and heart for my entire existence, I’ve met the most talented, inspiring people, and let’s be honest, I LIVE with a few of them; I’ve had so many opportunities just laid out in front of me. I’ve changed my internet appearance and I’ve changed my point of view. I’ve made party plans, travel plans, and life plans.

Hi, I’m Chantel and I’m terrified.
I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t know which of my passions are my calling. I don’t have a meticulously thought up life plan, and that’s troubling to me.  But I’m excited as well. I’m ready for everything next semester. I’m ready to learn more about who I am and what I want. I’m ready to go to new places and meet new people. I’m excited by the future, but I’m still absolutely in love with the now, and I hope you all feel the same.

PS- I HIGHLY recommend reading this article written by one of my crazy talented friends. It’s important.

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Dress: Wet Seal

caridgan: Wet Seal

Boots: American Eagle

Socks: American Apparel

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“I remember every metaphor I used for you.

It’s beautiful how quickly I ran out.

It was just so difficult to describe

a forest at the bottom of an ocean on fire.

You were soft,

I was quiet.

I remember every park bench,

every broken sidewalk,

every open sky.

It was so whole.

I remember breathing,

and the lovely amount of effort it required.

I hope you do too.

They say writers remember the important things;

I say they are liars.

I remember you wore a purple flannel

the first time I saw you,

even though it isn’t your favorite color.

I remember that you take your coffee black,

and your tea with plenty of honey.

I remember the way your eyes changed color

based on the weather,

and the way you looked at the sky,

like it was endless.

You were endless.

I remember everything you taught me.

They say writers remember the important things;

I remember you.”

Outlined in Oceans

Hi, hello. It’s been a moment since we’ve last spoke. I’ve learned a lot about myself lately: I was built for coffee shops not bars, formals are fun, I have chill people in my life, I think I know what I want to do with my life, consistency is hard, I take too many polaroids, and I love you a lot. I was literally jumping up and down when the package came in the mail! The theme for our sorority’s formal was “Red Rose Ball” so naturally, the dresses were supposed to be long– I kind of feel like I cheated a bit, but it felt like the perfect opportunity to buy this dress I’ve been swooning over for months! This Forever Love and Lemons dress didn’t let me down! It is absolutely flawless, from the delicate lace detailing to the mesh illusion. I’m still stunned by how intricate it’s made. I can’t wait for another opportunity to wear it out!

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Dress: For Love and Lemons

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My blog has a new name and new look officially. You can read all about my reasoning behind the sudden name change here. This is how I want to live– always moving, constantly improving. I’ve never been good at sitting still. I thought about waiting for the new year to make some serious changes,
but I couldn’t do it. Life doesn’t wait for anyone and neither should
you. Live everyday like it’s the new year. I can’t wait to share what’s in store with you!

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She adored the grand size of things in the woods… the
feeling of being far away and truly lost– secluded, really. It was as
if the trees were standing guard and nobody could find her. They
understood her peculiar need for solitude. They understood her. She
found life in the dying leaves and poetry in the ever changing bark of
elderly trees; she wandered through the dense forestry until she
stumbled upon the millions of dancing fragments of sunlight, broken up
like glass, shining as restlessly and elusive as her own heart. She
danced with them until they disappeared with the sunset. That’s what
true sorrow was to her, because each time she had to leave her
unfinished fairy-tales carved meticulously into the earth, a bit of her
heart stayed behind as well.

Coat: American Eagle

Top: American Eagle

Jeggings: American Eagle

Boots: American Eagle

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Fall is here; my photos are getting darker and my skin is growing lighter. The leaves are falling from trees and the freshmen are falling from grace. The cold is well on its way which routinely leaves me craving soft layers and hard cider. I’ve been straying from my bright pastels and overexposed photos lately and I’ve just been absolutely enchanted with shadows and honest realism instead. I’m not sure why I’ve been so intrigued by dull color and soft contrast. Maybe it’s the mystery of the art I’ve been exposing myself to lately. Anyways, it’s Monday and OH MY GOSH GUYS I’M WEARING SWEATS. How college am I? I literally received my first ever pair of sweats the day before classes started. As you all should know by now, I’m a complete girly-girl. I enjoy lace, polka dots, and heels. I feel like such a hypocrite, because I’ve been completely anti-sweats for my entire existence, but it turns out that sweats can indeed be dressed up a bit. In this post I’m going to highlight an amazing company based in San Francisco called Marine Layer. I was too happy when my package came and I felt just how soft the pieces were. I literally wore them to sleep that night because I felt like I was being hugged by a giant bunny. I love the way these sweats aren’t typical baggy thug sweats that still to this day make me cringe. I’m obsessing over the subtle fitted ankles and drawstring detail. The top that I received is my favorite boyfriend fit as well. I paired these pieces with a faux leather moto jacket and matching leather shoes because leather always adds a bit of structure and edge, let’s be honest.

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softest top ever c/o Marine Layer (ON SALE)

softest jogger pants ever c/o Marine Layer

shoes Steve Madden

jacket H&M London

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It’s October first already?! AND A WEDNESDAY AT THAT. I’m so beyond ready for Halloweentown weather, cheesy scary movies, and pumpkin flavored everything, which has had me thinking about my favorite halloween themed characters, costumes, etc. I really love interpreting what my favorite television characters would wear if they lived in our world, if you haven’t noticed. When I was little, I watched The Addams Family constantly. I was an odd child. I’ve always admired Wednesday for her dark humor and subtle intelligence, as well as envied her uncanny self-awareness and ability to see past all norms. I’ve never been so excited to publish a post before, honestly. I get to put my own twist on one of my favorite television characters EVER. I really personalized this Wednesday look to fit my own style. Obviously I had to incorporate black as well as the signature white collar into the dress, but I am also a bit more girly than Wednesday- and when I say “a bit,” you know a mean an awful lot. So I chose a little retro number from ModCloth (obviously) with more of the peter pan collar that I tend to wear almost too predictably. Ms. Addams also loves her little black lace-up boots, and I can’t disagree with that. The ankle boots that I chose have an added hidden wedge because I like to pretend that I’m tall. But what would Wednesday Addams be without her signature braids? I WISH that I could pull of a middle part and two small braids, but unfortunately I cannot, so I customized the look once again with a slightly more intricate side braid. I added the lace socks and bright lipstick to add just a touch more of myself into the look. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of my favorite Wednesday Addams quotes ever (I couldn’t resist!) Who’s your favorite TV character? Favorite holiday? Stay tuned for 90305794 more character inspired looks this month as well as a post introducing you to my three perfect roommates and even a virtual tour of our dorm, sweet dorm. The week is halfway over! Hang in there, my little homicidal maniacs. Have a wretched day. Play with your food, wear a cheerful color, or actually black. Love you forever.

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Dress: ModCloth

Socks: ModCloth

Shoes: ModCloth

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1. I’m a cat lady. I have three. Heidi, Friskey, and Rú. I miss them way too much. They literally make me want to drop out of college and get a job as a stripper just so I can cuddle with them nightly again.

 2. I could live off of chocolate covered strawberries and rose flavored macarons. And also chips and salsa and fried pickles. I like food ok.

3. My all time favorite movie is Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Or The Shining. Or 500 Days of Summer. Actually maybe the titanic. I like movies ok. 

4. I’m a phlebotomist. I adore all things blood and gore and veins.

5. I’m in love with Amsterdam and I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up living in The Netherlands for at least a small part of my life.

6. I feel absolutely naked when my nails aren’t painted light pink.

7. I’m in a sorority at the University of Kansas. I never expected that to be a part of my life.

8. I have three polaroid cameras and various film cameras because I’m slightly obsessed.

9. Fashion blogger by day- XL t-shirt collector by night.

10. I only write in cursive. The curves and loops mesmerize me.

11. I’m a dancer and I miss my dance studio so.

12. I’m a firm believer that music sounds best on vinyl.

13. Every concert that I’ve been to has changed my life in some way.

14. I basically want to explore. Places and ideas and people. Curiosity will indeed kill the Chantel.

15. I love sensory a lot. If I could only have one sense, it would be touch. No doubt.

16. Wednesday Addams is my favorite TV character.

17. I have one tattoo- I got it done fairly randomly my last day in Paris.

18. My favorite flowers are daisies and sunflowers.

19. I’m the girliest girl ever, since before I can remember. In kindergarten, I refused to wear anything but dresses to school, even in the snow and I refused to paint my nails anything but pink. Not much has changed.

20. I’m allergic to shellfish. Get dat shrimp away from me.

21. My socks never match. My thigh highs are even slightly different from one another every once in awhile.

22. I tried to hunt once. I wore a pink satin ribbon in my hair and refused to shoot anything.

23. I read too much. Stephen King, Edgar Allan Poe, and Hemingway are my favorite writers. I’m inherently drawn to writing with a slightly existentialist view.

24. I drink more coffee than I should.

25. I’ve been working on this post for weeks because it’s hard to think of facts. I’m not that interesting.

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Guys I made this top and these shorts. For like a total of $10. This is what I do when I’m bored and have spare time. I’m not sure if I’m ready for fall or not. As much as I love layers, hats, and pumpkin spice lattes, I sure am going to miss sundresses, crop tops, and skirts. But, wow, I can’t wait to see Lawrence lit up with bright dying leaves and lively anxious souls. I’m already pumped for halloween, honestly. I love creepy, ominous things. Haunted houses, cemeteries, crazy makeup, crazier night skies- it’s what I look forward to every year. But then again, every holiday is my fav. Whenever someone asks me what my favorite holiday is, I literally name whichever big calendar date is coming up. What’s your favorite holiday? Season? Moment? Tell me things. I love you for sticking with me through my own personal chaos by the way. From overseas trips and fragmented fairytales to moving away from my tiny town and starting over. I just adore you all a lot.

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& as they sat together,

sipping black coffee,

spilling white lies,

he romanticized every moment that she refused the chaos of daylight and welcomed the subtle hush of the moon,

until 3am came,

when he slowly came to realize that maybe she didn’t love him at all, but only the quiet stillness of the night.

it didn’t matter. She had let him into her unreachable world.

The one she didn’t allow words to define.

Besides,

how could he be upset,

at a face whose smile only lit up in the darkness?

He cursed himself with immortality the very first time he spoke to her.

His voice cut and her typewriter bled.

I’m in love with where I am,

but sometimes,

I miss my curtains

I miss my cats

I miss big beds and bigger cuddles

I miss my mom

I miss rooftop stars

I miss my suitcase

I miss my fragmented fairytales

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PJs- Forever 21 (similar)

Bow- forever 21

Skirt- ModCloth

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