When Peace & Chaos Collide

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

The moments right before I am fully awake
are my favorite moments.
The ones when I’m simply lying in bed,
not fully conscious,
or fully recovered from the previous night’s reveries-
looking out through my seventh floor window
at the blurry neon shirted construction workers
floating around the earth below me
like the butterflies that once inhabited my abdomen.
The moments before I put my glasses on.
Before I can see their faces,
lines drawn in them like stories,
telling me about lovers lost and children grown.
I’ve always had a secret love for chaos.
Sporadic, enchanting mayhem;
the kind of clutter and confusion that passes me by
too quickly to even form opinions.
I like the moments before anything is real
when I can imagine and be whatever I want.
When the commotion feels orderly enough.
When everything just is.

Guys I made this top and these shorts. For like a total of $10. This is what I do when I’m bored and have spare time. I’m not sure if I’m ready for fall or not. As much as I love layers, hats, and pumpkin spice lattes, I sure am going to miss sundresses, crop tops, and skirts. But, wow, I can’t wait to see Lawrence lit up with bright dying leaves and lively anxious souls. I’m already pumped for halloween, honestly. I love creepy, ominous things. Haunted houses, cemeteries, crazy makeup, crazier night skies- it’s what I look forward to every year. But then again, every holiday is my fav. Whenever someone asks me what my favorite holiday is, I literally name whichever big calendar date is coming up. What’s your favorite holiday? Season? Moment? Tell me things. I love you for sticking with me through my own personal chaos by the way. From overseas trips and fragmented fairytales to moving away from my tiny town and starting over. I just adore you all a lot.

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